Secret strategies for Stay at home or working moms to relax and enjoy stress relief so that they can stay focused
October 27th, 2006
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by Empty Your Cup Relaxation Coach · Filed Under: General Updates · Stress and your Relationship
Secret strategies for stay at home or working moms to relax and enjoy stress relief so that they can stay focused. These strategies are very simple and allow stay at home or working moms to improve their listening skills.
Stress relief come from listening “in”, however we sometimes tend to listen “out.”
Let me explain.
Listening “out” means you’re minding other people’s business and wanting to help others. Some stay at home or working moms may want to help other people because they think they need help. This perception may be rooted in a particular belief that someone is dumb, stupid or ignorant.
Therefore some (stay at home and working moms) believe that they have the right to educate that person and teach them how to avoid stressful situations.
The truth is, that person may be all or some of those things.
Wait there is more. How often have you been receptive to someone, telling you what to do even if it is in your best interest?
Some people want to learn, but most people are happy in there present circumstance. Change requires effort and the feeling of a degree of uncertainty. For instance I have been teaching Relaxation and Meditation Classes for over 14 years and people always tell me that they need to learn to relax.
I have sent them a brochure or given them info on how to stay focused. I have seen very few of these people at my classes. If I happen to see them after the event then I get all kinds of excuses.
If you do not know the difference between people who want to learn and people who are happy in their present state you could be butting your head against a stone.
How do you indentify people who want to learn?
Generally, people who want to learn or change to a focused state of stress relief act quickly.
Others need to think about it because they have to ask their friends and associates for permission. If they cannot answer all the questions asked by their friends and colleagues about the benefits of getting stress relief, then it feels safer to stay in their present state. This is an example of listening “out”
So what is listening “in” ;
Listening “in” means that as a stay at home or working mom you have chosen to take stress relief classes to help you relax and stay focused and you do not need permission.
Listening “in” is when you are not locking yourself out of the house.
Listening “in” means that you have been practicing listening to your messages and taking action.
Listening “in” means that you are not all stressed out after talking to your friends on the telephone.
Listening “in” means that as a stay at home or working mom that you can find more time to stop and slow down, in spite of the turbulence of daily living.
Listening “in” means that you are going with the flow and not forcing things to happen.
So what is the morale of the story?
When you stay focused on what you want you will enjoy stress relief.
Copyrighted Change Perspective and Empty Your Cup® 2000-2006. All full copyright rights are reserved by Change Perspective and Empty Your Cup®. Other bloggers and journalists are allowed to excerpt and link to posts (as is commonwith bloggers,) as full credit/attribution is given to Empty Your Cup.com/ Stress relief blog.com and Change Perspective. Other bloggers and journalists are allowed to excerpt and link to posts (as is common with bloggers,) as full credit/attribution is given to Empty Your Cup.com/ Stress Relief Blog.com and Change Perspective.
Cecil McIntosh, The EYC™ Relaxation Coach with 14 years of experience helping Entrepreneurs like you, stay focused, get more done and find more time, so that you can live in the moment. He is a published author of many audio Relaxation Programs using accelerated learning approaches and a Teacher, NLP Trainer and Coach. You can reach Cecil at cecil.mcintosh@gmail.com
Learn how accelerated learning can help you get more done and find more time to enjoy stress relief. – 5 minute stress relief
Thank you for reminding me to listening \”in.\”
Hi,
Thanks for this article.
I hope you don’t mind mentioning this, but as it is on the topic…
I offer a FREE Busy Mom’s Stress Relief Kit at my website. It’s got SIX fabulous treats for every busy mom and MORE!
Your readers can get it here:
http://www.SolutionsForBusyMoms.com/free-stress-relief-kit/
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for stopping by: You site is warm and friendly and encourages interactivity.
I like your “Family Managers” station. I also enjoy your concept of prioritizing. That is setting up two hanging folders one for Action and one for References.
I find that most of my client’s intellectual know what needs to be done but do not have a system for taking ACTION.
I used a daily “TO DO LIST.” I cross off what I have done for the day with a yellow marker. If I am unable to accomplish a task for that day then I carry it over to the next day. When I look back at each day I am often amazed at how much I have accomplished.
Peace,
Cecil McIntosh
EYC Relaxation Coach
http://www.emptyyourcup.com/stressrelief
I’m glad that creating a to-do list works for you! I find that it doesn’t work for all busy moms though. Here’s a tip about creating effective to-do lists that recently wrote for an e-interview on Neatliving.net — I thought someone out there might appreciate it:
One BIG mistake that I see moms make all the time is in making their To-Do Lists. Sometimes, They’ll throw EVERYTHING on one list until they have a list that is 5 miles long and so SCARY that they avoid doing anything!
I like to teach my clients a part of David Allen’s System from Getting It All Done (This one will FOR SURE come in handy around holiday time!)
David draws an all-important distinction for busy moms (or any busy person) to learn – the difference between a project and a next action.
A Project is any desired outcome that requires more than one action step. You can’t do a project – you can only do an action related to a project.
A Next Action is the absolute next physical thing to do to complete a project.
You see, clients get overwhelmed when they look at a to-do list that has next actions and projects jumbled together on it. It means that each time they go through the list they have to think about each entry and what the next action might be instead of being able to take action right away. It becomes mentally draining and they can eventually become numb to list.
Your to-do list should ONLY contain next actions – the VERY NEXT physical thing to do on each project. You can keep track of your projects on a separate list. For example, your to-do list might say something like “Repaint the banister.” Unless you’ve got everything ready for painting, repainting the banister is probably a project — not a next action. It should go on your projects list. What goes on your “next action” or “to-do” list is the very next step like “buy the paint” or even “call Bob to find out the name of the beautiful paint he used on his banister.”
When moms have a bunch of projects and next actions weighing them down I urge them to do a “brain dump” (brainstorming session) and write down every single project and next action that comes into their head. This process can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. Next I ask them to sort their list into projects and next actions. Then I have them sort their projects into categories related to their roles like “Family Projects” “Work Projects” Community Work Projects” “Projects for (Grown Up) Fun” “Home Improvement Projects.” Some projects will be Important and/or Urgent to accomplish in the short-term and some will be long-term projects or projects for personal satisfaction with no specific due date. Seeing them all laid out in categories can bring an immediate sense of relief because of the clarity it provides. Now you can see all of your projects clearly and more easily decide your priorities for the day, week, month and year.
Next I often recommend that clients create a “Master Next Action List.” This step is optional, but many find it helpful. Simply write the project titles on a page and leave lots of space beneath each. Use as many pages as you need. Then brainstorm each action step that it will take to complete the project – no matter how many steps it will take. Write them all down!
Now, it’s time to create your “to-do” list, which should consist of ONLY next actions. Remember, next actions are the very next physical step you need to do to complete a project. If you know the projects that you want to work on right away, you can simply create a “to-do” list by writing down the next action step on each of those projects.
The final step is to group each “next action” in to mini lists, usually based on your priorities, your energy level, where you will be during the day and what resources will be available at the time. For example, my list is often sorted into categories like:
- Do in the morning before the kids wake up – This is the best time for me do to “brainwork” like writing.
- Do At My Desk – paperwork for my business or family
- Things to do at the computer – For example, I’ll often jot down a key word to research for an idea that I had and want to “goggle.”
- Calls to make” If I’m at the phone, I like to do all of my phone calls in one shot so I list them all together
- “Errands to run” I try to list them in the order that I would run them to minimize travel time.
Now all of this sounds like a lot of work. Initially, it may be, but after a while it becomes a habit and my clients just start naturally organizing their to-do lists this way. In other words, they learn the difference between a project and a next action, so their to-do list only consists of next actions. If they ever feel overwhelmed by all of the projects running around and around in their minds, they can simply map them out again as I have described. It can really save a busy mom’s sanity to look at her to-do list and know the very next action she needs to take and the best time and place to do them!
Hi Solutiondiva,
Thanks for your very detail response. Greatly appreciated.
I have taken one point from your resopnse for those working moms who may not have time to read the entire article.
“A Project is any desired outcome that requires more than one action step. You can’t do a project – you can only do an action related to a project.
A Next Action is the absolute next physical thing to do to complete a project….”
“Your to-do list should ONLY contain next actions – the VERY NEXT physical thing to do on each project. You can keep track of your projects on a separate list. For example, your to-do list might say something like “Repaint the banister.”
Unless you’ve got everything ready for painting, repainting the banister is probably a project — not a next action.
It should go on your projects list. What goes on your “next action” or “to-do” list is the very next step like “buy the paint” or even “call Bob to find out the name of the beautiful paint he used on his banister.” ”
Peace,
Cecil.
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